Navel Gazing

    

     I've been doing a fair amount of navel-gazing the last six weeks, after my appendectomy. The surgeon made three incisions, one exactly in my belly button. After three weeks, that incision became infected. I went thru oral antibiotics & topical antibiotics, which made me itch. I’m now using essential oils which are drawing the infection out and are working a slow miracle in healing.

     Several times a day I gaze at my navel as I apply more oils and massage them in. At first I was a little disgusted at how yukky it looked, with the pus and redness. And I whined about how sore it felt too.

     As the days go by and I see small improvement, I’m thinking more deeply about my belly button. My chubby belly is not particularly attractive and someday I’ll tone up those flabby muscles. But it also reminds me of the nine pregnancies I went thru to give birth to my babies. Watching my belly expand to enormous proportions was amazing.

     I further gazed at my navel as I pondered the physical connection it once was to my own mother. She was only sixteen when she married my dad, miscarried a short time later, then gave birth to me when she was nineteen. 

     My belly button had become a symbol of sorts, of my healing on a deeper level.The infections have allowed me to slow my pace and be more thoughtful about my life. Healing, physical and emotional, happens in layers, from the inside out.  I expected to heal quickly and bounce back to normal. When that didn’t happen, I was forced to gaze at my navel. And what I see is a woman who needs to slow down and appreciate each moment, to re-think what I do and where I put my energy.

     Navel gazing has its merits, whether one’s belly button is infected or not. It reminds me of the gift of life that my mother gave to me and of the gift of life I gave to my children. And to have patience with myself.

”…by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.”